When people say, "I'm having a baby!!" they aren't really telling the whole truth. Yes, they are literally birthing a baby, but they are having a person who will only be a baby for a couple of years. I feel like some people forget this fact when they get preggers.
That's just one of the many reasons I don't want to have children.
I like kids as much as the next guy, I guess. I was a camp counselor for five years and loved it, but that's about all I can take for the rest of my life. I don't want kids. I don't want to be a mother. I literally just shuddered at the thought.
"But Karin! You're only 21 years old! You will change your mind soon enough."
"But Karin! You don't have to turn out like other mothers that you don't like!"
"But Karin! But Karin! But Karin!!!!!"
Blah blah blah, I don't give a crap!
I have many reasons for not wanting to birth an heir. I will share one with you now and continue at a later date.
(NOTE: These are in no particular order!)
1. Lack of Male.
Word on the street is that it takes a male and a female to make a child. I'm only one half of that. YES I KNOW I'M ONLY 21!! That's not the point. Here is the tangent. I probably won't get married. Literally just shuddered again. I just can't see it happening. I can't see myself actually wanting to spend my entire life with someone. Sounds horrific to be honest, no offense to people who are married or plan to get married. UGH! Men! Not worth the trouble.
Which is why...instead of a wedding, I'm throwing myself a very extravagant 35th Birthday Party!!! To which you're all invited, of course. It's going to be AWESOME!!!!!
I told you I would go off on a tangent. I'll post more about les enfants soon!
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
19 March 2008
Who Wants to Date a Celebrity?
Oh man.
On Monday I took my friends to West Hollywood because they are visiting from Minnesota and they wanted to see Hollywood. Ugh. Hollywood is such a pain in the ass. But that's a different story.
So we decided to see a movie at Grauman's Chinese Theater. It's very beautiful I've never actually seen a movie there before (probably because it costs $11.25). We saw "10,000 BC." It was...pretty bad. As a history major I was minorly disgusted. But that is also a different story.
The point is...the leading man in the film, Steven Strait, is HOT.
HOLY CRAP. And look at those LOCKS!
Naturally, I immediately looked him up on IMDB when I got home. He's 21! He's my age!! He turns 22 next week! Even better! I am used to Googling hot actors and finding out that they are 30-something and being crushed. (See Adrien Grenier, James McAvoy, James Franco.) Or worse, hotties that are YOUNGER! (See Daniel Radcliffe, Corbin Bleu.)
So I was very happy to discover this hott-ay Steven Strait. No word on his 'ship status.
Lately I've been kind of depressed about Zac Efron because he's dating that stupid chick from High School Musical Vanessa Hudgens. He's 20 and he's beautiful. I may have an unnatural crush on him. Every time I watch High School Musical (which isn't that often....but probably more than a 21-year-old should...) I just want to date him so badly!!! So I'm working on that, but we'll see...
Living in LA you'd think I'd have a really easy time dating a celeb. What's wrong with this city!!??!?!
Maybe if the guys at my school weren't such idiots my life would be easier. Alas. I'll just search for Steven Strait. And Zac Efron too.
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On Monday I took my friends to West Hollywood because they are visiting from Minnesota and they wanted to see Hollywood. Ugh. Hollywood is such a pain in the ass. But that's a different story.
So we decided to see a movie at Grauman's Chinese Theater. It's very beautiful I've never actually seen a movie there before (probably because it costs $11.25). We saw "10,000 BC." It was...pretty bad. As a history major I was minorly disgusted. But that is also a different story.
The point is...the leading man in the film, Steven Strait, is HOT.
HOLY CRAP. And look at those LOCKS!
Naturally, I immediately looked him up on IMDB when I got home. He's 21! He's my age!! He turns 22 next week! Even better! I am used to Googling hot actors and finding out that they are 30-something and being crushed. (See Adrien Grenier, James McAvoy, James Franco.) Or worse, hotties that are YOUNGER! (See Daniel Radcliffe, Corbin Bleu.)
So I was very happy to discover this hott-ay Steven Strait. No word on his 'ship status.
Lately I've been kind of depressed about Zac Efron because he's dating that stupid chick from High School Musical Vanessa Hudgens. He's 20 and he's beautiful. I may have an unnatural crush on him. Every time I watch High School Musical (which isn't that often....but probably more than a 21-year-old should...) I just want to date him so badly!!! So I'm working on that, but we'll see...
Living in LA you'd think I'd have a really easy time dating a celeb. What's wrong with this city!!??!?!
Maybe if the guys at my school weren't such idiots my life would be easier. Alas. I'll just search for Steven Strait. And Zac Efron too.
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14 February 2008
Ten Things to do on Valentine's Day, with or without a Hot Date
1. Buy a couple dozen carnations (or roses if you're rich) and walk around the neighborhood. Scope out the loneliest looking girls and give them one. This will make them very happy.
2. Call ALL of your ex-significant others at around 11 PM and drunkenly tell them how much you love and miss them. If they say they miss you too, hang up immediately and proceed to number 10.
3. Make a trail of Hershey's Kisses (or another candy of your choice) and make a trail around your house. Wait a few hours, then go follow the trail! It will be exciting even though you did it yourself.
4. Go out to a fancy restaurant, ideally of European inspiration, and hit on the hot foreign waiters. Yes, you can do this even if you have a hot date, but beware: All the single people eating by themselves will resent you, as if they don't already.
5. Wear black.
6. Watch a slasher film with your dog or your mother.
7. Wear red and green and carry around mistletoe. Walk around yelling "Happy Christmas!" and hold the mistletoe over you and everyone you talk to. Demand a kiss. If they don't give you one, kick them in the shin.
8. Cross-dress. When you get asked what the hell's going on, act like you have no clue what they're talking about. Then ask them what they're doing for Valentine's Day and if they'd like to have a popsicle with you.
9. Buy yourself a three-pound solid chocolate heart, a giant teddy bear, a few cheesy V-day knickknacks, and whatever else you want. Walk around with them all day and exclaim how embarrassed you are! Or you could pretend to have a secret admirer. Bonus: Hire a barbershop quartet to come sing you a love poem in front of everyone.
10. Do the Lebowski Challenge.
2. Call ALL of your ex-significant others at around 11 PM and drunkenly tell them how much you love and miss them. If they say they miss you too, hang up immediately and proceed to number 10.
3. Make a trail of Hershey's Kisses (or another candy of your choice) and make a trail around your house. Wait a few hours, then go follow the trail! It will be exciting even though you did it yourself.
4. Go out to a fancy restaurant, ideally of European inspiration, and hit on the hot foreign waiters. Yes, you can do this even if you have a hot date, but beware: All the single people eating by themselves will resent you, as if they don't already.
5. Wear black.
6. Watch a slasher film with your dog or your mother.
7. Wear red and green and carry around mistletoe. Walk around yelling "Happy Christmas!" and hold the mistletoe over you and everyone you talk to. Demand a kiss. If they don't give you one, kick them in the shin.
8. Cross-dress. When you get asked what the hell's going on, act like you have no clue what they're talking about. Then ask them what they're doing for Valentine's Day and if they'd like to have a popsicle with you.
9. Buy yourself a three-pound solid chocolate heart, a giant teddy bear, a few cheesy V-day knickknacks, and whatever else you want. Walk around with them all day and exclaim how embarrassed you are! Or you could pretend to have a secret admirer. Bonus: Hire a barbershop quartet to come sing you a love poem in front of everyone.
10. Do the Lebowski Challenge.
06 February 2008
Top Ten Reasons to Date a Middle Child
10. It is a known scientific fact that middle children always get the best genes. The first child gets the genes that don't really know what's going on. By the time the second child rolls around, the genes have figured out the perfect way to come together to create an amazing child. By the third child, they're tired and couldn't care less. Thus the middle child is the perfect mix of the best qualities of both parents.
9. The middle child won't care what you dress like because chances are he or she dressed ridiculously as a child because of hand-me-downs.
8. Oldest children get angry when they don't get attention. Youngest children beg for attention. The middle children don't care about the attention, so you can usually get away with talking about yourself all the time. But the middle child will be so cool that you'll want to give him/her all your attention anyway.
7. Middle children know how to share. They won't make you pay for dinner every time and they will let you borrow their toothbrush if you really need to.
6. Middle children are peaceful. They are in the middle. Neutral. Like Switzerland.
5. Middle children are used to sharing people with other people (i.e. parents with siblings), so they'll let you hang out with your friends and they won't get lonely. (Besides, they have lots of friends anyway because they're so cool.)
4. Madonna was a middle child. She's hot.
3. Middle children are funny.
2. Bill Gates was a middle child. He's rich.
And the Number One Reason to Date a Middle Child: Middle children are better in bed.
9. The middle child won't care what you dress like because chances are he or she dressed ridiculously as a child because of hand-me-downs.
8. Oldest children get angry when they don't get attention. Youngest children beg for attention. The middle children don't care about the attention, so you can usually get away with talking about yourself all the time. But the middle child will be so cool that you'll want to give him/her all your attention anyway.
7. Middle children know how to share. They won't make you pay for dinner every time and they will let you borrow their toothbrush if you really need to.
6. Middle children are peaceful. They are in the middle. Neutral. Like Switzerland.
5. Middle children are used to sharing people with other people (i.e. parents with siblings), so they'll let you hang out with your friends and they won't get lonely. (Besides, they have lots of friends anyway because they're so cool.)
4. Madonna was a middle child. She's hot.
3. Middle children are funny.
2. Bill Gates was a middle child. He's rich.
And the Number One Reason to Date a Middle Child: Middle children are better in bed.
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