15 February 2008

Top Five Presidents of All Time

In honor of President's Day, here are the five most awesomest presidents since 1776.

5. James Madison was the 4th President. He was the shortest President- 5'4". Guess how tall yours truly is? 5'4". PARTY HEIGHT!

4. Grover Cleveland was the 24th President. He was also the only President to get married in the White House. I don't think she was as hot as that supermodel Nick Sarkozy just married, though.

Nah, I'd say they're comparable in hotness.

3. Rutherford B. Hayes was the 19th President. He is like G-Dub because he didn't win the popular vote in the 1876 election. Samuel J. Tilden won the popular vote. All the other guys who won the popular vote but lost the electoral vote went on to eventually become President. Poor Al G. and Sammy T.

2. Gerald Ford was the 38th President. He was not elected to any office but followed Nixon's resignation. He threw his daughter's prom at the White House. Badass.

1. Warren G. Harding was the 29th President. He bet all the china in the White House during a single card game. He lost. Damn you, Harding! Those are my tax dollars!

For more fun facts, go here!

Or here!

Happy President's Day!!!!! Enjoy your long weekend. If you don't have a long weekend, I'm sorry for rubbing it in.

14 February 2008

Ten Things to do on Valentine's Day, with or without a Hot Date

1. Buy a couple dozen carnations (or roses if you're rich) and walk around the neighborhood. Scope out the loneliest looking girls and give them one. This will make them very happy.

2. Call ALL of your ex-significant others at around 11 PM and drunkenly tell them how much you love and miss them. If they say they miss you too, hang up immediately and proceed to number 10.

3. Make a trail of Hershey's Kisses (or another candy of your choice) and make a trail around your house. Wait a few hours, then go follow the trail! It will be exciting even though you did it yourself.

4. Go out to a fancy restaurant, ideally of European inspiration, and hit on the hot foreign waiters. Yes, you can do this even if you have a hot date, but beware: All the single people eating by themselves will resent you, as if they don't already.

5. Wear black.

6. Watch a slasher film with your dog or your mother.

7. Wear red and green and carry around mistletoe. Walk around yelling "Happy Christmas!" and hold the mistletoe over you and everyone you talk to. Demand a kiss. If they don't give you one, kick them in the shin.

8. Cross-dress. When you get asked what the hell's going on, act like you have no clue what they're talking about. Then ask them what they're doing for Valentine's Day and if they'd like to have a popsicle with you.

9. Buy yourself a three-pound solid chocolate heart, a giant teddy bear, a few cheesy V-day knickknacks, and whatever else you want. Walk around with them all day and exclaim how embarrassed you are! Or you could pretend to have a secret admirer. Bonus: Hire a barbershop quartet to come sing you a love poem in front of everyone.

10. Do the Lebowski Challenge.

12 February 2008

Pinkberry: Yogurt of the Present

I love Pinkberry. I mean, I love Pinkberry.

For those not living in Southern California or parts of New York City, a description of Pinkberry is in order.

Pinkberry is a frozen yogurt "reinvented" (according to the website). There is one original flavor, a green tea flavor, and a brand new coffee flavor. I really only like the original flavor. A medium with three toppings costs $4.95 and it is delicious. Pinkberry offers many toppings including...
-Captain Crunch
-Fruity Pebbles
-Chocolate chips
-Yogurt chips
-Cookies 'n Creme (Oreo)

and more!! Sometimes they have seasonal toppings as well. This fall they had pomegranate. Delish.

Usually my Pinkberry toppings of choice are strawberry, raspberry, and chocolate chips. The key to creating the most delectable Pinkberry possible is in the mixing. If you simply eat your Pinkberry the way they give it to you, you'll eat all the toppings first and when you get to the bottom you are left with plain yogurt which is not nearly as yummy. So you MUST mix up your Pinkberry!! It's tricky at first as you are trying not to let any toppings fall. (It's quite upsetting if they do.) But with some practice and skill, you'll be able to mix your Pinkberry to its utmost potential with few flicks of the wrist.

Whether the celebrities know the secret to the best Pinkberry, I cannot be sure. Yes, celebrities LOVE Pinkberry and many have been photographed outside of Pinkberrys all over LA. Kate Bosworth is a fan, and even Mike Tyson!!

If you are lucky enough to live in the Southland and you have not had Pinkberry yet, I pity you and I will pray for your soul. If you venture to Los Angeles or New York, seek one out! And beware of the slew of imitation yogurt shops that have appeared since the birth of Pinkberry. They are not as good!!