IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY for a ball game
A balllll game today.
My friends are out to get a ticket or two
From Walla Walla Washington to Kalamazoo
IT'S a beautiful day for a ball game
A ballllll game today.
Yes, friends. It's finally here. The season. The only season that matters. Baseball season.
Most teams opened their seasons Monday and Tuesday. The Twins opened at home against former team member Torii Hunter and his new team the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. They won! 3-2. The Dodgers had three exhibition games this past weekend against the Red Sox. I went on Friday night. The Dodgers won! It's their 50th year in Los Angeles so that's the main schtick for the season. On Saturday the Dodgers played the Sox in the old Coliseum in LA, which turned out to be the most-watched baseball game in history. Unfortunately, Boston won. But the Dodgers have won both of their regular-season games so far against the San Francisco Giants (sans Barry Bonds). So, yay!
Johan Santana also kicked some major Marlins butt in Florida in his Mets debut, allowing just 2 runs over 7 innings. Mets, those lucky dogs. Leaving the Twins behind with Boof Bonser to lose the second game to the Angels 9-1. Grr.
So there's my little FYI wrap-up of the first two days of the regular season. Expect more in-depth analysis etc etc as the season progresses. Until then, think SPRING!!!
02 April 2008
01 April 2008
Earthquake in Los Angeles!
IT FINALLY HAPPENED. EARTHQUAKE IN LA. MASS DESTRUCTION. GIANT HOLE IN EARTH ALONG THE SAN ANDREAS FAULT. NO GAS. NO WATER. NO ELECTRICITY. IN MORTAL DANGER. SEND GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AND POWER BARS.
HAPPENED AROUND 12:01 AM ON APRIL 1, 2008, A DATE THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY. KONKED IN HEAD BY PICTURE FRAME. LUCKILY, EARTHQUAKE WATER JUGS REMAINED INTACT.
WE ARE SUFFERING. WE CAN ONLY WATCH NETFLIX MOVIES AND FRIENDS SEASONS 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, AND 10. SOON WE WILL RUN OUT OF MOVIES AND TV SHOWS TO WATCH. SEND HOUSE AND BOY MEETS WORLD.
ICE CREAM TRUCK NOT MAKING REGULAR ROUTE!!!!!! MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!!!
ALMOST OUT OF LIQUOR. SEND MARGARITA MIX, TEQUILA, GIN, TONIC, AND CHAMPAGNE. THIRSTY. WATER NOT DOING THE TRICK.
SCHOOL NOT IN SESSION. HEARTBROKEN.
HOPE THE CELEBRITIES ARE OK.
LEO'S TACO TRUCK NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!!!!!! MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!! REFUSE TO EAT RAMBO'S!!!!
NO CONTACT WITH OUTSIDE WORLD. SEND BARACK OBAMA.
happy april fool's day!
HAPPENED AROUND 12:01 AM ON APRIL 1, 2008, A DATE THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY. KONKED IN HEAD BY PICTURE FRAME. LUCKILY, EARTHQUAKE WATER JUGS REMAINED INTACT.
WE ARE SUFFERING. WE CAN ONLY WATCH NETFLIX MOVIES AND FRIENDS SEASONS 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, AND 10. SOON WE WILL RUN OUT OF MOVIES AND TV SHOWS TO WATCH. SEND HOUSE AND BOY MEETS WORLD.
ICE CREAM TRUCK NOT MAKING REGULAR ROUTE!!!!!! MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!!!
ALMOST OUT OF LIQUOR. SEND MARGARITA MIX, TEQUILA, GIN, TONIC, AND CHAMPAGNE. THIRSTY. WATER NOT DOING THE TRICK.
SCHOOL NOT IN SESSION. HEARTBROKEN.
HOPE THE CELEBRITIES ARE OK.
LEO'S TACO TRUCK NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!!!!!! MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!! REFUSE TO EAT RAMBO'S!!!!
NO CONTACT WITH OUTSIDE WORLD. SEND BARACK OBAMA.
happy april fool's day!
31 March 2008
Je ne veux pas les enfants, Part II
because...
1. Bringing a new life into this f-ed up world is plain cruel. Why would I do that? I am not a cruel person.
2. The world does not need any more of me, even if it's only half me. I don't want to pass on my craziness to another human being. That is also cruel.
3. Babies are a lot of work and I'm going to have enough work as it is.
4. Babies are expensive. I would rather spend my money on Balenciaga gladiator sandals and an All-Clad lobster pot than diapers and private school tuition. Judge me, I don't care.
5. I would be a TERRIBLE mother and as if my kid wouldn't already be messed up, it have SERIOUS issues starting at a very early age.
6. I don't need someone to do all the stuff that I didn't do, like become an Olympic gymnast or a movie star or be insanely smart. Having a baby is really a selfish thing when you really think about it.
7. I couldn't deal with having an ugly or stupid kid. Or annoying. Oh wait, all kids are annoying.
8. I would get soooooo fat and my body would never be the same. Judge me, I don't care.
9. Maybe if Eve hadn't stolen that g-d apple childbirth wouldn't be so painful. Thanks a lot, Eve.
10. I would have to kiss my social life good-bye. I don't want to do that. I like social life and even when I'm fifty I'll have a good social life.
1. Bringing a new life into this f-ed up world is plain cruel. Why would I do that? I am not a cruel person.
2. The world does not need any more of me, even if it's only half me. I don't want to pass on my craziness to another human being. That is also cruel.
3. Babies are a lot of work and I'm going to have enough work as it is.
4. Babies are expensive. I would rather spend my money on Balenciaga gladiator sandals and an All-Clad lobster pot than diapers and private school tuition. Judge me, I don't care.
5. I would be a TERRIBLE mother and as if my kid wouldn't already be messed up, it have SERIOUS issues starting at a very early age.
6. I don't need someone to do all the stuff that I didn't do, like become an Olympic gymnast or a movie star or be insanely smart. Having a baby is really a selfish thing when you really think about it.
7. I couldn't deal with having an ugly or stupid kid. Or annoying. Oh wait, all kids are annoying.
8. I would get soooooo fat and my body would never be the same. Judge me, I don't care.
9. Maybe if Eve hadn't stolen that g-d apple childbirth wouldn't be so painful. Thanks a lot, Eve.
10. I would have to kiss my social life good-bye. I don't want to do that. I like social life and even when I'm fifty I'll have a good social life.
30 March 2008
I'm Not That Into School
Only one month and seven days remain in this semester.
THANK GOD.
I'm really over school these days. Just OVER IT. Generally I don't mind school when there's fun things to balance it out and I'm learning things I enjoy. I'm not that into my classes this semester (except this one, of course) and no matter how much work I do I never seem to get anything done.
I have come to despise the library and avoid it at all costs.
I know that we have 27 days left of school. How do I know that? I counted. In my planner. Like a 5th grader.
27 days and I still have so much to do!
Then summer comes. I am sooooo excited for summer! Even though I'll be working 40 hours per week INSIDE for the first time EVER...I am still excited. At 5 I get to come home and chillax and do whatever I please until I have to leave for work in the AM.
And then school starts again.
The cycle continues.
Until....it all comes SCREECHING to a halt in May when I graduate. That screech is going to be deafening.
I'll just try to focus on the next 27 days.
THANK GOD.
I'm really over school these days. Just OVER IT. Generally I don't mind school when there's fun things to balance it out and I'm learning things I enjoy. I'm not that into my classes this semester (except this one, of course) and no matter how much work I do I never seem to get anything done.
I have come to despise the library and avoid it at all costs.
I know that we have 27 days left of school. How do I know that? I counted. In my planner. Like a 5th grader.
27 days and I still have so much to do!
Then summer comes. I am sooooo excited for summer! Even though I'll be working 40 hours per week INSIDE for the first time EVER...I am still excited. At 5 I get to come home and chillax and do whatever I please until I have to leave for work in the AM.
And then school starts again.
The cycle continues.
Until....it all comes SCREECHING to a halt in May when I graduate. That screech is going to be deafening.
I'll just try to focus on the next 27 days.
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